The Story of 拉肚子 (La du zi)

Last week I had entered the photo above into a competition and today I was informed that I had won. My prize is 100 RMB. The following text is from the judge of the competition: Congratulations to 叶问浩 for winning this week’s photo contest with this dizzying shot of a kitschy souvenir shop. What makes this photo a winner? The vibrant color and texture gives a glimpse into China’s frenzied retail world. The shallow depth of field helps isolate the girl in the foreground from the frantic background. How could it be better? I really wish the girl was facing the camera instead of looking away. Don’t be afraid to ask, “你好！可以拍照吗？” Anyways, by now you must be wondering what la du zi. Well, it is the act of having loose bowels. In China, conversing about one's bowel movements is rather ordinary. It is so standard that today the class' topic was about diarrhea. I mentioned before that I have a large class and a small class. This week the administration happened to put the 4 class jokers, myself included, in the same small class setting. 4 guys, a young teacher, and literally shit as the topic, made for the greatest day I have had here so far. It was 2 hours of non-stop joking, but the great thing was that it was all in Chinese. Side note: I have been suffering from la du zi all day because I ate some street food. People here are so comfortable with talking about bowel movements that I had a conversation with my teacher, over lunch, about la du zi. So what how does learning and talking about diarrhea help my proficiency at all? My conversation with my teacher turned into one on American politics, Chinese culture, and partying. Very random topics, but the fact is that I had flowing conversation about these two topics all in Chinese; if this isn't improvement I don't know what is. This is my story of how la du zi helped me learn Chinese. Now if you don't mind, I am going to end this post here and head to the loo.

Deep City Expedition

Classes started yesterday which means the language pledge has gone into effect. In the two days that I have committed to only speaking Chinese, I have felt the most frustrated I have ever felt in my life. I am talking head smashing frustration here. Picture a really playful puppy confined to a corner and segregated from all the other dogs playing around. All the puppy wants to do is socialize with the other dogs, but he can't and he is oh so sad. I feel like that kind of puppy. Actually, I do feel that my oral proficiency has improved in the past couple days. The language pledge is incredibly frustrating, but I really like it. By the way, I'm NOT breaking the pledge by writing this blog. For those who wish to know my schedule you can continue to read, those who don't can move to the next paragraph. Well I have about 4 - 5 hours of homework everyday and 6 hours of class everyday. My days begin at 6:30am, but classes don't begin until 8:30am. I wake up that early because I need to warm my brain up before jumping into a day of intensive Chinese. The first class lasts 50 minutes, then a 10 minute break, then another 50 minute class, then a 20 minute break where all the different classes break into smaller groups, then another 50 minute class with 2 other people to reenforce what was taught in the lecture, then a 10 minute break, then another 50 minute class. After that, then we have lunch with our teachers (each class has 4). After lunch is a one-on-one session which ends at 2:30pm. The one-on-one is so far my favorite since it really puts me on the spot to speak and think. Now that you know my schedule, please forgive me if I can't take many pictures and post them. Also, internet in Kunming is just a big lump of donkey shit which makes an upload of 10 pictures take around 6 hours. This post did take about 6 hours to create.

On a happier note, I did go on an excursion into the city with my new friends. We tried to spend as much time as we could with each other while we were still allowed to speak English. We essentially had a 4 day vacation in Kunming. 

It is typical to see women in this kind of "armor" riding around on their scooters. Everyone has a scooter in China, everyone. The dangerous thing is that these scooters are all electric so you cannot here them coming from behind you. We have dubbed them the silent killers as they also do not warn you when you they pass. The rules of the road in China is that the larger mass has right of way, go where you want when you want, pedestrians have a negative amount of right of way, and drive like a man on crack. Walking on the street is an event that gives a good adrenaline rush sometimes.

This is a little garden outside of an old building here at the university. The building is where people would take the imperial service exam during the dynastic era.

Waiting on people at the bank.

Left to Right: Greg, Mat, and Courtland. 

This is normal sight in China

Room 406

Internet in Kunming is slower than snail's pace, and with a VPN it is making it very hard to upload photos. I am sorry to everyone for not having many photos today, but I will be trying to figure a way to upload pictures more quickly.

This is a picture of my home for the next two months. The bed in frame is my roommate's. The room is fairly small, but not uncomfortably small. There are no fans and no AC, but so far the weather has been pretty cool with a good breeze. The altitude of Kunming is roughly 6500 feet above sea level so the air is cool and dry. The room comes with a TV and a maid service. Technically the international student dorm is the university's hotel, but just because I said I have cleaning service please do not think I am living comfortably. Living accommodations are nice but far from comfortable. The beds are so hard I enjoy lying on the carpet more. The bathrooms are horrid (pictures to come), mainly the bath tub. Bath tubs are a new concept in China and they do not really know how to install them. In fact, I don't even consider my bath tub installed. The tub is a very thin fiber glass mold and it does not sit flush with the floor. The edges of the tub sit in place in a barrier built up from the ground. The problem is that the barriers were built too high meaning that the bottom of the floor doesn't touch the floor of the bathroom. I essentially have a suspended bathtub made from very thin fiber glass. There is already a crack in the top of the tub where it rests on the tiled insert. When I move, I see the crack widen and I hear the tub creek. The only thing that really sucks is that bathtub. I can live with everything else.

This is the corridor leading to my room. The first door on the left is mine.

This is the view from the right side of the corridor. Most of Kunming looks like this. Kunming is a very exciting place. Today I went exploring with some new friends and I realized that Kunming is going to be a great place to live for the summer. The weather is nice and there is very little pollution. I sign the language pledge in 2 days so right now I am savoring the last moments of speaking English. 

The Present Reality of 云南大学 (Yunnan University)

I have made it so Kunming and have moved in to my quarters for the next 2 months (pictures to come in the next couple days). I am very jet lagged and, to be honest, a little scared. Scared because I'm in a new environment and I really have only myself to lean on. My roommate seems to be a really nice guy, but he and I have so far not been able to communicate well enough. I thought my Chinese was a lot better, but I must have fooled myself. Everyone else seems to be communicating much better with their roommates and that makes me feel a little bad, I really hope it is because I am tired. I know this intensive submersion will be hard, but if a miracle can't happen by tomorrow morning and I can't communicate much better than I am now, then the next couple weeks are going to be hell. I am not used to life in a big city, and I really am not used to life in a big city where I am unable to communicate well with the people around me. I have properly removed myself from my comfort zone. I know I am here to learn and get to the point where I can communicate with people around me, but it is just a blow to the confidence to see everyone else talking up a storm in Chinese. I like to think of myself as a conversationalist, and now that I cannot converse I feel very nervous. I'm sure all the weird feelings will pass in the next week though. The neighborhood of my dorm is very lively, but it is a little dirty. I did take pictures today, but I haven't been able to edit them. This is going to be an interesting summer.

Hong Kong International

 Arrived in Hong Kong about 2 hours ago. This airport is beyond large. The terminals are so long that I can't see the last gate of the terminal, and that isn't because of bad eye sight.

If you are connecting flights in Hong Kong, going through immigrations is not necessary. I am not used to this concept so I was very confused on where to go. There are signs that lead you through to airport, but either I am really jet lagged or the signs are poorly placed. If you are connecting, you step out of your plane and go through security screening almost immediately. There isn't much to do here other than shop. I haven't found a food court, but that might be because I haven't taken a walk to the end of the terminal yet. Nothing much to report from Hong Kong.

I Love Cathay Pacific

How about this! Upgraded to business class!

LAX

The Tom Bradley terminal here at LAX is a little ridiculous. It is essentially a duty free mall. I just finished watching two Chinese ladies go crazy in the liquor store.

Los Angeles

My good friend offered to take me out for dinner in LA.

MIA

An update from Miami. Personal travel issues have come appeared. Ladies and gents, some advice from me to you,  always travel with some Imodium in your bag. That's about it for an update. For the record, this photo has nothing to do with my update.

The Journey Begins

Kingston is my free first of 5 airports I will be traveling through. I will be on the move for about 2 days. 

Kingston --> Miami --> Los Angeles --> Hong Kong --> Kunming 

I promise not all of the photos will be taken on a mobile device.

Gear

This year I am traveling with much less gear. All this equipment is what I will use in my attempt to produce the best photographs for everyone.

Back To China

Welcome to my blog, everyone! In a couple days I am heading back to China. This summer I will be spending my time as a student instead of as an English teacher. For those who don't know I spent last summer in China's country side teaching English in a small technical university. Those people who followed my blog last year, thank you and I hope I will see your presence on this blog in the weeks to come. This year I will be in Kunming studying at Yunnan University. I am going with CET Academic Programs through their Summer Intensive Language in Kunming program. During my time I will sign a pledge saying that I will not speak English for the duration of the program. The idea is rather frightening, but I anticipate a lot of fun encounters with people because of it. I am not a great writer so I try to make up for it in my photographs, and I plan to post as many as possible.

For those who have not visited my blog from last summer, please check it out. For those who have seen that blog, please check it out again. This is the link to last year's blog: http://joshuatheadventurer.blogspot.com/

Also, if you are interested in the program I am going with, here is a link to the information page http://cetacademicprograms.com/programs/china/summer-chinese-language-kunming/

Please follow me as a I attempt to find new adventures in China.